A Ruckus In Massachusetts

Well, folks, Inky Ankowski has acquired a new title: trendsetter!

After Inky’s purchase of all existence, others have set out to do the same – buying things that are very important for very little money. Most recently, Joan McJoan, 68, of FripperyFrilllery, Massachusetts went all the way to the North Pole to purchase time from a polar bear. This polar bear had been living in relative seclusion until McJoan came along. He had been trying to boost sales by using eBay and Etsy. Now with the knowledge that time was purchased from his shop, many are venturing out to the North Pole to purchase directly. 

One of our trusty reporters went to interview McJoan on her purchase. 

“I’m really quite glad that I spontaneously made the decision to buy all time. I don’t use it, but it’s nice to know that I own it. It only cost 23 cents! Plus, I obviously want to follow in Sir Wonderful’s footsteps.”

– Joan McJoan, 68

However, when Inky heard the news, he was not happy! He was not happy at all! You see, Inky had struck a deal with the polar bear as a result of them sharing a form of comradery by being animals owning businesses. (Luscious Richness and Stuff From the North Pole, respectively.) He had been planning to buy all time to go with his ownership of existence, and when he discovered that his friend had carelessly sold time to McJoan, he of course sued him. 

The trial took place on April 13, 2022, and ended poorly for the polar bear. Inky had very quickly used a few million dollars to get himself a law degree, and presided over the court as his own lawyer, the judge, and the jury. Needless to say, the polar bear was found guilty of all charges. Which brought Inky to Phase 2 of his plan.

Going to Massachusetts, Inky sought out McJoan and demanded she give him her time, which she meekly did. Ms. McJoan, upon our reporter arriving, was in tears and had to stop every so often to weep.

What is the lesson of this article? Don’t buy Stuff from the North Pole? Maybe. Remember Inky is better than you? Perhaps. But the true lesson of this article is that Inky will always best you. In ownership, in law, and in being an entrepreneur.