Well-Known Cat Smudge “The Pudge” Wins The Lottery!!

This article stars Inky “Sir Wonderful” Ankowski and his son, Smudge “The Pudge” Ankowski. If you haven’t heard of them before, or need a refresher on their greatness, click here.

Smudge has, in the past, been a quite neglected cat. His father has been on trial for stealing from him, and although he has been ruled ‘not guilty’ many times, it is still a popular belief that Inky may have stolen good amounts of money from him.

“I don’t know if my father steals from me, but I do know that my money disappears every time my father is around.”

– Smudge “The Pudge” Ankowski

Smudge has been seen as a sad, hopeless cat who will never have anything good. But after a startling and surprising victory on Smudge’s part, all of that could…and should be changing soon.

Smudge’s Life Story

Smudge’s victory is very important – and very big. But to fully understand all of this, we must understand Smudge’s life a bit more, and specifically, his careers. He began as a race car driver in Hawaii. Unfortunately, race car driving there was not very popular, and Smudge wasn’t that good to begin with.

After a failed career in Hawaii, Smudge moved back to California, where Inky’s main residence is. There, he attempted to become a food critic, because of his love of eating. Unfortunately, every newspaper he applied to turned him down, saying that his writing was not nearly up to their standards.

Finally, after two more failed careers (a scuba diver, and a construction worker), Smudge decided that instead of having a job, he would travel the world.

“I am a very smart guy. When a very nice man told me, in a very loud and angry voice, that it was impossible for me to ever, ever get a job, I decided to travel the world instead.”

– Smudge “The Pudge” Ankowski

At this time, Smudge has only been to one location while “traveling the world” – Lettucehead, North Carolina. And although that may sound pathetic, it really was all that he needed.

Smudge’s Trip

Once in Lettucehead, Smudge first wandered the street for a little while. Then he got distracted by a butterfly, and got a little bit lost. Finally, after about four hours, Smudge found his way back to the main – and only – road in town.

It was a winner.

Smudge’s Life – Transformed

Smudge had won a grand total of 8 million dollars. Not a lot by Inky’s standards – but for Smudge, well, let’s just say his life savings before that were 1 dead fly, 2 balls of lint, and a nickel.

Smudge immediately decided that he would keep his money very safe. And spend most of it, of course.

Here is a list of the things he bought during the first ten minutes after realizing he won the lottery:

1. An extra-large case of cat food 2. Four cat-sized Lamborghinis 3. A mansion (with a pool, in case he ever decided to like swimming) 4. A few velvet pillows to lounge on 5. More cat food

After an invigorating and exhausting ten minutes, he realized that he had already spent a large amount of his fortune. He shrugged and carried on with his life.

Inky’s Reaction

Meanwhile, Inky was more than a bit upset. He was used to being the rich one in the family, and wasn’t sure if he could deal with Smudge having even a hundredth of the money he had.

“I was a bit distraught. I am a rich, powerful man-cat. Smudge is a sad kitten who will never live up to me. I was merely worried for my son, and his lack of responsibility, as any father would be.”

– Inky “Sir Wonderful” Ankowski

This statement, though shocking, got quite a bit of support from Inky’s loyal fans. Hundreds of people in cities all around the world were protesting Smudge’s newfound riches. Many believed that Inky should take all of them, as they believed it to be “the only fair thing to do.”

Smudge, as expected, was a bit upset. That is, he was upset for a few moments. Then he shrugged and simply said, “Well, I figured most of the money would go to Inky anyway, since he’s always convincing me to buy from his spectacular company. He’s very persuasive. It’s probably easier for everyone if my father just takes my money like this.”

Before Smudge made this shocking statement, the whole world was eager to see what was thought to be an inevitable trial between Inky and Smudge – the sixth one between them, in fact. Once Smudge made his spectacular confession, though, everyone who was rushing to find out what would happen – including news reporters, presidents, royalty, and parakeets – all froze. The whole world froze, for a moment. Scientists believe that even the earth stopped spinning.

And then everyone shrugged and went about their lives. News reporters continued interviewing, presidents continued signing papers, royalty continued having tea, and parakeets continued being parakeets.

What Happened Next

Now that Smudge basically gave up all of his money to Inky, Inky has only continued to grow his company, and become even richer. His total life savings stand at $1,033,010,000,002. (1 trillion, 33 billion, 10 million and 2 dollars.) Or, as Inky likes to put it, approximately 129,126,250,000 cans of cat food.

Despite what some may expect, Smudge was perfectly happy and content with his new life. Although he did get some backlash for giving up his money and a chance to be more respected, Smudge said,

Continue reading howtofornitwits.com for more fantabulous stories on Inky and Smudge!