How To For Nitwits:
How To Clean Your Room
The How To For Nitwits company has made many impressive and important accomplishments in teaching nitwits the basics. But it has become clear that for nitwits to be accepted into normal society, they must learn more complicated tasks. Such as cleanliness.
Why is Cleaning Important?
Cleaning is, sadly, quite important. Although it is certainly boring, it is good to have a clean space, not only for your non-nitwit neighbor’s pleasure, but also for your own. When you have a clean house, you can do more in your house.
Step 1: How To Start
To start, look around your slobby, nitwit home. Use your brain to decide what is out of place. What is taking up too much room. Look for anything and everything that is on the floor, draped over the couch, etc., that could be somewhere tidier, such as a cupboard, closet, or container.
Once you have a list in your mind, figure out where each item will go. Then figure out how much can fit in your storage space, to see if you will need more room. A good idea is to put all of one type of thing — such as clothes, books, toys — in the same space. Start trying to imagine where you will put everything.
Step 2: Begin Cleaning And Organizing
Now that you’ve figured out all that you need to clean, you need to actually start. It is recommended by many health professionals, (like Rosita Heimlich-Maneuver, seen in Proven Ways To Get Less Distracted Quickly), to start by cleaning your floor.
Strange objects known as books, on a strange set of objects known as shelves
To do this, get as many of one item in your hands. (Remember, hands are the strange objects on the ends of your arms!) This will help you be more efficient, as you don’t have to take many trips. Let’s say you have five books in your hands. Walk to an object in your room with shelves. Then stack the books upright on the shelf. Continue doing this. As you go, decide where you want everything to be. All of your items should be organized and easy to access, but not strewn all over the floor. Remember, if you find your nitwit instincts taking over, telling you to roll around on the floor and scream wildly, DON’T succumb to the urges. Instead, remind yourself that you are bothering to clean your house because, even if you don’t like it, it will help you get accepted into society as a normal person.
Step 3: What Trash Is, And What To Do With It
What is trash? Most nitwits do not understand common words, so I will explain. Trash is anything that you don’t want, and that you choose to throw away and get rid of. You will almost certainly come across some, or many of these items when you are cleaning. To tell what is trash and what isn’t trash, you ask yourself, “Do I want to keep this?” If the answer is yes, then do keep it, and find a place for it somewhere. If the answer is no, it is trash.
Once you determine that something is trash, you have to decide what category it is in. If it is some sort of small piece of paper, plastic, etc., then you should either recycle it or throw it away in the trash can. If it is something larger, even as big as a piece of furniture that you don’t want, find a place to donate it. (This will be a very complicated process for a nitwit, I understand.) If you need extra assistance, feel free to post a comment on this page to get specific answers and assistance with any and all problems your nitwit brain comes across. All comments will be monitored and read, and specific feedback will be provided.
Conclusion
It is the goal of How To For Nitwits that all nitwits can someday become normal. By moving on to more complicated tasks for those who are ready, hopefully our mission will progress more quickly. Just remember, don’t feel bad if this is hard, or very hard, at first. Once you figure it out, though, you can have a perfectly clean room to enjoy and brag about! (At least until you make messes again…)
Is my poop, laugh, me chair sellable?