This day and age, it’s very easy to get distracted. Whether it’s something you’re reading, watching, or even making, you will almost always have something else on your mind. This can be a problem, but luckily there are many scientifically proven methods to be less distracted. I’m your reporter Ferdsy “Sorta Acceptable” Johnson, here to…
Hello, amazing and dedicated viewers of howtofornitwits.com! Today it is Ferdsy “Sorta Acceptable” Johnson with your breaking news. In the giant-hotdog-sized metropolis of New York City, there is one sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad,…
Most people collect one thing or another – coins, stamps, or maybe something a little bit stranger. But Jellie Smith of Pennsylvania collects something, two somethings, that are much stranger than all the rest. “Beetles are beautiful,” Smith pronounced to an audience on February 12th, 2022. “They have a majestic beauty that no other creature…
On Tuesday, January 11, 2022, British archeologist Nigel Nigglebottom made an extraordinary discovery about nitwits and non-nitwits that will uncover a layer of history that we have not yet explored. And all because of his choice of location. Instead of heading for the legendary pyramids of Egypt or Kush or the elusive site of Mohenjodaro,…
In rural Mississippi, jellybeans are a food staple. In most families, children must eat at least 1 gallon of jellybeans a day, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Most of them enjoy the jellybeans, at least somewhat. But one of these children, Angelina Lambert, does not. “I hate jellybeans,” Angelina Lambert said. “But unfortunately, everyone in…
Inky “Sir Wonderful” Ankowski is well-known for his famous company, Luscious Richness. Because of this, many have asked him, “How are you so amazing?” and each time Inky answers with the same answer: “I’m me.” But now, the trillionaire cat has decided to do an honorable deed, and explain – really explain – how he…
Because of the pandemic, lots of people have acquired new hobbies. But one hobby is a little bit stranger than all the rest…fish feeting.
On January 18 of 2022, a group of clearly unintelligent nitwits discovered the existence of howtofornitwits.com and considered it an “insult.”
In the small town of Springle, Idaho, citizens are eager for a new mayor. So, after a long three weeks of election campaigns, the top two candidates have emerged, and they’re not who you would expect.
On January 8th, 2022, the New York Police Department was alerted of a large crowd gathering in Central Park. They were surprised to realize that it was entirely nitwits.
