How To For Nitwits:
How To Speak
Nitwits have trouble with social interactions. This has been a commonly known fact forever. In the past, however, it was thought to be impossible to change this. Luckily, there’s now a solution. How To For Nitwits is working hard to teach all the nitwits out there the basics of talking, manners, and more.
What Are Words?
Nitwits have trouble understanding the basics, so it is important to start at the beginning. Words are what you are reading right now. They are made of letters. When you speak, you always speak in words, no matter what you say. Words are the way people communicate. Words also have meaning. They are not nonsense sounds that you just say for no reason. Depending on how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking, you will say different things. When working to be accepted into society, you will need to make sure that you know what you’re trying to say, and that you say it correctly.
Many times in the past, before How To For Nitwits was even founded, nitwits have tried to hold normal conversations with normal people around them. Each and every time, the nitwits have failed miserably, leading them only to have a worse reputation than they did before trying. Because of this, it is important for nitwits to learn all the basics of manners, speech, and conversations before attempting to talk to normal people.
How To Talk
Talking will come naturally for most nitwits. The only part that doesn’t come naturally is actually making sense while talking. When you hold a conversation, think about what the other person is saying to you. Think about what that means, and then respond. Do not talk over the other person, because that will make them angry.
At the same time, though, you do not want to have long pauses in a conversation with someone. You definitely don’t want to walk away in the middle of a conversation, either. Wait until the person is ready to leave, or until you both don’t have anything more to say. But don’t stick around too long! That is also considered impolite. Once it seems like it is time for you to leave, politely excuse yourself and leave.
Protip: Do not run away screaming at the top of your lungs.
Visiting Manners
It is possible that you may receive an invitation from someone. Depending on where they invite you, you will have to act slightly differently. The most important thing is being polite either way.
If you are invited to someone’s house or office, be extra polite. The place is all theirs, so you cannot make messes or poke around. For example, if they invite you into their living room, do not go into the kitchen looking for supplies for a food fight. Or if they invite you into their office, that probably does not mean that they would like you to look into their filing cabinet for stuff to sell online. If you are invited to a public area, such as a park, library, restaurant, etc., then follow the rules for that place. Do not act strange or rude, because in public there are more people to witness it. For the good of the progress of nitwits, do not embarrass yourself in front of lots of normal people. It would be tragic and horrible, not just for your own reputation but for the good of all nitwits. Again, do not run away screaming at the top of your lungs, even if your nitwit brain tells you to.
Conclusion
There are many, many complicated rules about manners and politeness that nitwits will have lots of trouble understanding. The important thing is that you keep trying, and hopefully one day you’ll be good enough to have a real conversation.