World’s First Trillionaire… A Cat?
Recently, the professional business-cat, Inky “Sir Wonderful” Ankowski has become the world’s first and only trillionaire. He came to acquire this large sum of money on December 23rd of last year. Since then, he has made 13 more dollars, and 58 more cents. When interviewed about this great feat, he says,
“Money is good. Money is great.”
– Inky
His company, Luscious Richness, started up only just over one year ago, which has led to many questions from government officials. Although Inky denies any criminal activity, he has been on trial many times on the basis of illegally acquiring a large amount of his fortune. Surprisingly, many believe that much of what he has stolen is from his child, Smudge “The Pudge” Ankowski.
Professionals and friends of Inky have testified to experiencing the criminal activity between him and Smudge. This, along with other firsthand information, has been used to build up a tough case against the trillionaire cat. However, all of the 4 times Inky has been to court, he has won the case. How? A simple, 3-sentence argument.
“I am rich. I am cool. I am better than you.”
– Inky
In interviews, Smudge’s thoughts and opinions are never clear. He most often talks about “foof” – which, after some investigation, has been discovered to be cans of cat food. Although Smudge has never creditably admitted to being stolen from, there have been unsubstantiated sources that claim he has. These are under current investigation.
One of the most interesting things about this trillionaire is that he still refuses to pay full, or even close to full, price for anything. As often as possible, he refuses to spend any of his money. This fact has been used against Inky in court, and others believe that it may even be proof that he does not really have all the money he claims to have. However, this belief was refuted in early January.
The story of Inky’s fortune and the court case against him is anything but over. New updates will occur, and when they do, check in on your favorite news website, howtofornitwits.com!
