A New Course Offered at Harvard! (And it’s not on Taylor Swift)

Hold onto your hats, folks! In a shocking new statement on Number 3 News, it was announced that a new course of study will be offered at the prestigious Harvard. Since the widespread notice that nitwits DO exist, and are not in fact mere mythological creatures, many non-nitwits with especially bright minds have been wanting to study what exactly makes nitwits the way they are.

“I really am quite the inquisitive type,” said Mary Knightcastle, an incoming student of the program. She’s going to be studying under Dr. Vivian L. Shine, graduate of the University of Educational Stuff. “Nitwits are positively intriguing,” Dr. Shine says. It should be noted that Dr. Shine received her diploma on the subject of fish feeting, and has absolutely no experience in the scientific study of nitwits. However, her students say they feel absolutely at home in her classroom, and are frequently visited by guest speakers such as Mel, a therapist from New York.

The other professor on Nitwit Evolution, Dr. Adam Fries, has made more progress in his own studies while teaching his students. He recently spent some time in Drudgery, Iowa, where the largest nitwit population lives. There he observed the ritual known amongst experts as “frenzied dancing.” This happens when a non-nitwit goes under transformation to become one. It is a sad occurrence, one which has caused many tears to be shed.

If you’d like to apply for Harvard’s newest course, please leave a comment. Until next time, mate!