An Important Quiz About Everything That Matters

On Tuesday, January 11, 2022, British archeologist Nigel Nigglebottom made an extraordinary discovery about nitwits and non-nitwits that will uncover a layer of history that we have not yet explored. And all because of his choice of location. Instead of heading for the legendary pyramids of Egypt or Kush or the elusive site of Mohenjodaro,…

On August 31, 2007, professional scientist George La George, a scientist specializing in the eventual end of the world, announced a shocking discovery in his field. But you probably already know that. What you don’t know, though, is the story behind it. Read on to find out the truth from me, Chinchilla Gourmet, a wonderful…

This day and age, it’s very easy to get distracted. Whether it’s something you’re reading, watching, or even making, you will almost always have something else on your mind. This can be a problem, but luckily there are many scientifically proven methods to be less distracted. I’m your reporter Ferdsy “Sorta Acceptable” Johnson, here to…

Hold onto your hats, folks! In a shocking new statement on Number 3 News, it was announced that a new course of study will be offered at the prestigious Harvard. Since the widespread notice that nitwits DO exist, and are not in fact mere mythological creatures, many non-nitwits with especially bright minds have been wanting…