Mrs. O’Reary: A Wonderful Lady

How large is the largest sailboat? How small is that smallest topiary? How medium-sized is the most medium-sized calligraphy pen? These are all questions author Tiffany O’Reary set out to answer in her newest picture book for children, The Size of All Things Big and Small. One of our most renowned journalists went to oversee her process. 

“I like my house. It’s cozy. It’s big. It is in Carlsbad. It has my dog, Burgundy, in it. I’ll likely stay here for the rest of my days.”

– Mrs. O’Reary, the author of The Size Of All Things Big And Small.

The house is located on a street whose only other occupant is a morning dove, who has taken over the house across the way and begun rent-controlled housing for doves of all types. This does not bother Ms. O’Reary, who is glad the morning dove has found entrepreneurship to be a passion in life. But perhaps one of the most shocking things about Ms. O’Reary is how her books are written. Take her newest release, The Size of All Things Big and Small.

It is a children’s book, yet there are no pictures to correspond with the various examples of objects. This is strange, as illustrations would normally be deemed absolutely necessary in a children’s book of this topic. Furthermore, Ms. O’Reary also chooses very obscure objects for her concentration, such as the extinct ammonites, hedge-pruning scissors, off-brand teas, and more. 

So far Ms. O’Reary’s book has not found any buyers except for the doves across the way, since it is the only thing they can read. However, Ms. O’Reary still has hope. On the topic, she said,

“Dearie, people just need to read my book. Then they will understand the importance of knowing exactly how medium-sized the most medium-sized rock in the Kuiper Belt is.”

– Mrs. O’Reary

So what is the lesson of this article? Maybe don’t live next to a condominium of morning doves. Their bad influence might rub off on you.