Flaming Hot Jellybeans… The Newest Craze

In rural Mississippi, jellybeans are a food staple. In most families, children must eat at least 1 gallon of jellybeans a day, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Most of them enjoy the jellybeans, at least somewhat. But one of these children, Angelina Lambert, does not.

“I hate jellybeans,” Angelina Lambert said. “But unfortunately, everyone in my town loves them.”

Angelina, age 9, would struggle with this issue every day. In her school cafeteria, the only food they would ever serve on Fridays were jellybeans. While most children in her school would complain about one kind of jellybean or another, they would still get something to eat. Angelina would not.

“Some people call me picky,” Angelina said. “And when someone does that to me, I tell them that I’m not; my tastes are just very refined.”

1 week ago, Angelina’s mother received a call from the school, saying that if Angelina refused to eat jellybeans, they would have to expel her. It seems that the school had a rule, in their guidebook, saying:

“All students and academics of this lovely school called Wolf Creek must consume and enjoy jellybeans when they are served in the grand cafeteria. Breaking of this rule shall result in immediate expulsion.”

– Student guidebook, rule 1,087

Angelina’s parents confronted her, explaining the situation. Angelina was immediately disgusted by this rule, but knew that she would have to find a way to enjoy jellybeans after all.

So, like any sane person would do, she added hot sauce.

“I was thinking, ‘How could I make jellybeans better for me?’ It took me a bit, but I realized that I love hot sauce, so if I add that to jellybeans, it might become delicious!” Angelina said.

On February 3rd, 2022, Angelina brought a bottle of hot sauce to school. When it came time for lunch, she opened the bottle and drenched the jellybeans in it.

“I took one bite, and it was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted!” Angelina said. “I told my friend Marge to try it, and she was a little nervous at first, but then she loved it, too!”

By February 6th, 2022, Angelina had successfully started a new craze. The jellybean factory in Mississippi, Jolly Jelly, bought rights from Angelina to make the spicy jellybeans world-wide. Angelina is now a millionaire, and plans to buy eight llamas with her newfound riches.

“I’m really just glad I could find a way for me to enjoy jellybeans,” Angelina said. “I know that jellybeans will always be part of our culture, so I’m glad I could just add something new to it.”

Next time you’re craving jellybeans, don’t settle for the regular old kind! Add some hot sauce to them, and you will never go back.